OTWS Reports

logo

2009-07-20T11:57:00.001-07:00

SCUDDER REVEALED

2008-09-04T15:24:00.000-07:00

Boys, It's been a fun ride. OTWS started as a small website dedicated to defacing the name of Bear Bryant back in 1996. It later evolved into the only unbiased recruiting website in the state taking on the name OTWS (Off The Wall Sports). Our website held to its mantra of unbiased recruiting and sports reporting throughout the years, along with a few comic, oped and general articles of interest along the way. During OTWS' stronghold on the market we've enjoyed such feature articles as "The Red Report", "J.J.'s JUCO Report" and the annual "Recruiting Rankings". In addition, our members have enjoyed good spirited collaboration on our award winning message board, "The Sidelines". Many breaking stories have come to you, the reader, via OTWS. Including UAT's suspension of Chris Samuels before the Orange Bowl, reports of free cars to UAT players which lead to NCAA penalties, Jetgate, the list goes on. Additionally, we all enjoyed the w(h)itty stories of future pulitzer prize winner J.J. Some of his work can be viewed in the archives. Headlines such as: "Tim Tebow Screws Bama", "UAT Fans Plan to Eat Plenty of Crow for Thanksgiving", "Former UAT HIV Invested Player Arrested", "Montgomery Black Caucus Demands Black Kicker", "Former UAT QB Gets Life in Prison", "UAT Once Again Embarrasses State" and "Glory Days at Auburn Continue". The list goes on and on. The Sidelines have also offered great entertainment from lovable posters such as: Scudder, AC Rasheed, SM, Big AL, Royal Rooster, AUHater, and who could forget: Duke. With all this said, I am sad to report that all good things must come to an end. The site has been dying a slow death over the past 2 years, and unless I renew my domain name subscription the website will officially shut down in the next few weeks. Therefore, I will give you scudder. I offer him as my sacrifice. He is one of our longest posters. His first post was recorded in March of 1997 and he has continued throughout the years. I actually didn't know his true identity until November of 2006, and I have kept my word to keep him anonymous. However, I have been released from that commitment since the site is going down. The true identity of scudder is: Keith Bodiford. Bod as he is known, is actually a bammer. Despite what many think about scudder, he is not gay. He somehow managed to keep his identity concealed for over 10 years while creating great controversy on the Sidelines. Scudder, OTWS salutes you.

Charts from theauburner.com

2008-01-28T12:43:00.000-08:00

Updates May or May Not Be Coming Soon

2007-12-03T13:50:00.000-08:00

In the meantime, please enjoy the counter to the right.

Auburn / Kansas State

2007-09-04T11:44:00.001-07:00

Auburn opened the season with a thriller Saturday night in which fans enjoyed a nail biter of a game against Kansas St. Auburn’s offense sputtered for the first 55 minutes of the contest, but came to life on the last drive, scoring easily. A couple of plays later and it was the defense’s turn to shine. Quentin Groves ran through KSU QB Josh Freeman causing a fumble which was returned 34 yards for a touchdown by Antonio Coleman. Quentin Groves' hit on Freeman was so hard that the Auburn police arrested him after the game for assault and battery. The charges were later dropped by Freeman.

James Swinton came up with a big catch Saturday night on Auburn’s last drive which set the Tigers up for it’s only offensive touchdown. After the game Swinton stopped by the tailgate for a photo op with the 4 horsemen (see above).

Other notes: The quote of the day came when trying to determine how many wings to order for the tailgate. Little Red stated, “I’m telling everyone up front, if you only order 50 wings, I’m going to eat as fast as I can until I get my fill.”

The Osc Loves the Four Horsemen

2007-08-24T11:05:00.000-07:00

Oscar Gonzalez, a star in the classroom, looks to become a star on the field. "I've always believed in getting the books in order before extracurricular activities", said Gonzalez. "I feel like I've got my priorities in order." Oscar Gonzalez is majoring in Spanish at Auburn. Anytime you can do well in a foreign language study, you've got to be impressed. The 6'7" offensive lineman, from Hialeah, FL, is in his sophomore year and plans to fight for playing time. He agreed to a photo op with the Horsemen in which Diamond Pat was inadvertantly cut out of the picture. The picture is still worth posting, however, because Super and Red horseman are throwing face.

Blackmon Shows Some Love to the Four Horsemen

2007-08-24T11:00:00.000-07:00

The Four Horsemen rolled into a closed practice session last Saturday and had a rare photo op with none other than Tray Blackmon. Blackmon, who warned UAT fans last year to fear the thumb, returns for his sophomore season. He had 18 tackles last season, 2 1/2 for a loss, despite a limited role in only 6 games. Blackmon was also part of the reason Auburn throttled Florida last year by 10. His pressure and forced fumble inside the Auburn ten kept Florida from attempting a bad angled kick with a crappy placekicker. If you will remember, that was Florida's only loss of the season.

5 in a Row's Gotta Be Tough

2007-05-03T13:30:00.000-07:00

Recently I was reflecting on the 2006 season, and it occurred to me that Auburn was supposed to lose the Iron Bowl this year. Actually, we are led to believe that this year is the year each and every year by the Neck Nation. It just turns out that it is never actually THE year for UAT. Anyway, put on your thinking caps for a minute and reminisce with me about the air of excitement in Tuscaloosa just prior to the game. Even though there was no reason to think so, all of the UAT fans believed in their hearts that they would beat Auburn that day. There was just something about the intensity and focus the players had. I think I remember a guarantee being made by one of the linemen. I can also remember someone at the tailgate saying, “I don’t know man, I just have a good feeling about this one.” Anyway, I bring all this up to remind you what desperate losers this bunch really is. I’ve enjoyed the excitement around the state, and on this board, and I hope it continues because it makes trips down memory lane that much more enjoyable for me.

1957 Team to be Honored at Vandy Game

2007-04-27T14:33:00.000-07:00

OTWS held an exclusive interview with Mark Richard, Senior Associate Athletic Director this morning regarding the upcoming Auburn football season. Mark explained that the opening game against Kansas State is part of a contract between the 2 schools where Auburn would make a return trip in the year 2014. That game would be played at Arrowhead Stadium. Additionally, Mark explained to OTWS that the 1957 National Championship team will be honored at this year's Vanderbilt game, being that this year is the 50 year anniversary of Auburn's first claimed national championship. The '57 team will be on hand and the Tigers plan to play the Commodores in throw-back jerseys to honor the undefeated squad.

Ticket Sales to Gay Couples on the Rise

2007-02-14T06:45:00.000-08:00

According to information released from the National Collegiate Ticket Sales Information Desk, more and more gay couples are choosing to purchase season tickets together. This problem appears to be a pandemic at universities with socially diverse student body profiles like U of Alabama in Tuscaloosa and Georgia; however, more conservative schools such as Auburn are not immune. "These gays are ruining our country", said Harold Bush, a longtime season ticket holder. "First they get their own shows on tv, then they trying to destroy marriage, now I gotta put up with them at tailgates." If you are concerned with gays near your tailgate please contact your university's athletic department.

Take Our Poll

2007-02-13T19:18:00.000-08:00

UAT's Tom Asbury Devours a Bugger on National TV

2007-02-13T04:21:00.000-08:00

CLICK HERE

OTWS ANNUAL RECRUITING RANKINGS

2007-02-12T12:13:00.000-08:00

Below we've listed each commitment, their position, their OTWS ranking (on a scale from 1 - 10), and any comments we had based on our exclusive inside, unbiased knowledge. Enjoy!

AUBURN's COMMITMENTS

Kodi Burns
QB
9
Star potential written all over him.

Josh Bynes
LB
9
Has size and athleticism to get playing time as a true freshman.

Wes Byrum
K
7.5
Already penciled in as kickoff specialist. That's about all we will say for a kicker.

Quindarius Carr
WR
7.5
Will probably redshirt due to the amount of talent Auburn has at wide receiver.

Antoine Carter
DE
8
After missing out on Jerry Howard, Auburn quickly signed Carter (See Rumor Alert below). There's just too much talent here for Carter to play next year. He'll probably redshirt.

Jared Cooper
OL
7
A relatively big white kid from East Brewton. Grew up a Bammer, but didn't want to get embarrassed with the rest of UAT's offensive line. Will probably redshirt.

Kyle Coulahan
OL
7
Played multiple positions in high school including TE, FB and DL. Shut the door on Florida to come to Auburn. Will probably redshirt.

Enrique Davis
RB
9
There's just too much talent at running back for Davis to play as a true freshman. We are guessing he'll redshirt. Some are calling Davis the next great running back in Auburn's rich history of running backs.

Johnnie Lee Dixon
ATH
8.5
Grades will send Dixon to prep school. He's projected to play corner. He was the defensive MVP at summer camps in Auburn.

John Douglas
RB
7.5
Could play as a true freshman, but will probably redshirt with Carl Stewart coming back.

Brandon Earl
OL
7
Take one look at this kid's picture and you will undoubtedly say, "JUCO". Earl selected Auburn over Georgia.

Nick Fairley
OL
8.5
Will more than likely get in the rotation if he can qualify. He currently needs to score higher on his ACT. Fairley had offers from top 10 West Virginia and tradition rich Florida State. He also rejected an offer from UAT.

Eltoro Freeman
LB
9
Once again, too much talent at this position, so Freeman will probably redshirt. Although he's bound to make an impact when he gets in the rotation. Very speedy.

A.J. Greene
DE
7.5
Will probably play DT after redshirting. Greene is only 17, but was a finalist for the 3A lineman of the year.

Bo Harris
ATH
8.5
Harris will probably factor into the rotation at DE. Recruited as a running back before going to prep school. Chose Auburn over Oklahoma.

Adam Herring
LB
8
Will probably redshirt, but may sneak in the rotation this year. Herring had 101 tackles last season despite limited playing time because his high school team was always blowing out their opponents.

Carlton Johnson
LB
8.5
Chose Auburn over FSU, Florida and Georgia thanks to Enrique Davis' persuasion. However, all players with last name's beginning with "J" will enter JUCO.

Jermaine Johnson
OL
7.5
See above, JUCO

Wilfred Journet
DE
7.5
See above, JUCO

Tim Lamb
DT
7.5
Will have to redshirt with Auburn's talent. He was ESPN's 4th best DT despite only playing 3 games because of an ankle injury. Chose Auburn over Miami, Nebraska and Clemson.

Michael McNeil
DB
10
McNeil is one of the best signees this class, it will be hard to keep him off the field. UAT made a strong push for him late, but they just don't have the "big time" program needed to land a "big time" recruit.

Ryan Pugh
OL
9
Probably the best center in the country. Will make an early impact on the Tiger's OL if he can beat out Bosley.

Chaz Ramsey
OL
9
Ramsey was recruited by FSU, Michigan, Tennessee and South Carolina, but chose Auburn because of their winning tradition. Will probably redshirt.

Mike Slade
DB
7.5
Recruited as a cornerback. Will redshirt.

Chris Slaughter
WR
10
We're betting on Slaughter to make the biggest impact next year of the 2007 class. Look for him to work his way into the lineup by the end of the season.

Brent Slusher
TE
8
Already enrolled in Auburn and will participate in spring practice. Will probably redshirt.

Ryan Williams
DB
7.5
Returned multiple punts and a kickoff for a touchdown as a senior. Will probably redshirt as Auburn is just too rich in talent.

Bailey Woods
TE
8.5
Too many great tight ends equals redshirt for Woods. One of Auburn's better recruiters this year.

Lee Ziemba
OL
10
Has the ability to step in and play as a true freshman. Will probably have a limited role in 2007. Chose Auburn over Michigan, Oklahoma, Notre Dame and Arkansas.

Chris Zinn
LB
7.5
Had 71 tackles and 2 touchdowns on defense, but grades will force him into prep school.

UAT's COMMITMENTS

Josh Chapman
DT
7.5
Rumored to be a steroid user, which is part of the reason Auburn lost interest in him. If he can get his personal problems in order, he might contribute to UAT's DL.

Patrick Crump
OL
7
Will greyshirt

Luther Davis
DT
8
Davis finds himself the center of attention related to a possible recruiting scandal perpetrated by Nick Saban. Davis has a lot of work to do to qualify.

Jeremy Elder
DE
5
Not sure why they signed this kid.

Nick Fanuzzi
QB
6
Will redshirt.

Tarence Farmer
DB
6.5
Signed with UAT because he saw no light at the end of the tunnel in terms of playing time at Nebraska, Ok State and Tennessee.

Nick Gentry
DT
6
Will have trouble qualifying

Brandon Gibson
WR
8.5
Good pickup for UAT even though they may have cheated to get him since his last visit to Tuscaloosa was paid for by a booster who took him to the UAT basketball game. Would probably play 2nd or 3rd string for Auburn, but will start for UAT.

Demetrius Goode
RB
8
Has a chance to start at UAT next season with their lack of talent at the position. Very fast back that could turn into a decent little player.

Jeramie Griffin
RB
5
Will never make an impact.

Darius Hanks
WR
5
Will make a bigger impact on the baseball field.

Jennings Hester
LB
4.5
Should have taken the offer to Duke.

Kareem Jackson
DB
7.5
Will probably start next season. Already enrolled and ready to practice this spring.

Chris Lett
DB
7.5
Good pickup. Could play corner or safety.

Marquis Maze
ATH
5
Has potential to be a sleeper recruit. Will probably contribute on special teams.

Rolando McClain
LB
9
Has an opportunity to play next year, and make an impact. May be moved to DE. Good pick up for UAT.

Alfred McCullough
DT
7.5
Another decent pick up for UAT. Will probably redshirt.

Kerry Murphy
DT
7.5
Won't qualify.

Michael Ricks
DB
8
Re-signed with UAT this year. Will have 3 years to play 2.

Jamar Taylor
RB
5
Will probably be moved to linebacker where we'll never hear from him again. Already enrolled.

Chris Underwood
TE
4
Life-long Bammer fan. Won't have much of an impact.

William Vlachos
OL
5
Another life-long Bamemr. Will greyshirt.

Alex Watkins
DE
7.5
Could work his way into the lineup next season with UAT's lack of talent on defense.

Chavis Williams
DE
5.5
Will move to linebacker.

OTWS's Recruiting Rankings Coming Monday

2007-02-09T04:19:00.000-08:00

RUMOR ALERT

2007-02-02T08:37:00.000-08:00

A very reliable source, DOT COM of FSU's MINI Recruiting Rumor Mill, is reporting that Jerry Howard has dropped Florida from consideration and has narrowed his list to FSU and Auburn. The FSU site, which is the equivalent of Auburn's War Room, is reporting that Howard will select the Tigers over the Noles. However, OTWS highly doubts this. The same source is also reporting that 5 star running back Noel Devine will not select UAT on signing day, but will instead wait until he can make an official visit to FSU.

In other news, LB Josh Bynes has cut South Carolina from the mix and now has two schools to decide between. Auburn and Louisville. Bynes cut Iowa out of the mix the other day. Bynes previously reported that he liked the girls at South Carolina and the food at Iowa; therefore, we can assume he's not chosing a school based on food and girls.

Saban Caught on Tape

2007-01-31T21:15:00.000-08:00

Ever wonder what Saban is saying about the Necks behind closed doors? Click HERE to see what he had to say about LSU fans.

Happy or Not, You Decide

2007-01-29T08:52:00.000-08:00

Bear Bryant Dies 24 Years Ago Today

2007-01-26T16:05:00.000-08:00

Coach Paul "Bear" Bryant
September 11, 1913 - January 26, 1983

Two Additional Polls to Award Auburn Nat'l Championship

2007-01-26T07:02:00.000-08:00

According to Wikipedia, the online encyclopedia, "Auburn can rightfully claim eight football national championships, but chooses to only recognize one, the 1957 National Champions." Other championships awarded to Auburn include: 1910, 1913, 1914, 1958, 1983, 1993 and 2004. Wikipedia goes on to say, "Most other NCAA Division I universities recognize and claim their national championships when named by organizations other than the AP or BCS."

Under Auburn's lofty standards they may be able to claim another national championship in the near future. It appears that USC is headed down the road UAT knows so much about, NCAA sanctions. It appears that USC enjoyed its success in 2004 and 2005 as a result of cheating. According to sources, Bush and his family received nearly $280,000 in cash, rent and gifts while at USC, and the man who provided the gifts to Bush and his family have the tape recordings to prove it. The recordings were made by Lloyd Lake an investor in a failed sports agency that had an agreement with Bush to provide him with cash in exchange for him becoming their first client. The recordings were made by Lake to protect his interests should Bush not hold up his end of the deal. And of course, Bush didn't hold up his end of the deal. Instead he went with agent Joel Segal. If the recordings become public Bush and USC could face penalties from the NCAA and PAC-10. Bush will more than likely be ruled an ineligible player, be stripped of his Heisman Trophy and the Trojan's 2004 BCS national championship will be rescinded.

Which leads us to our question, who is the true national champion now that we know USC cheated? A quick look at the final polls show Auburn in 2nd place. The revised polls would put Auburn in 1st in both polls. Congratulations to the Auburn Tigers! Your 2004 National Champions.

Auburn's Recruiting Class Could Be Best Ever

2007-01-25T08:24:00.000-08:00

With commitments from Davis, Pugh, Burns, Freeman, Ramsey and Ziemba, Auburn's 2007 recruiting class is shaping up to be one of the best ever. But with less than 2 weeks to signing day the Tigers need a couple more on defense to make a huge statement. The big targets are DE's Frank Alexander and Jerry Howard. Alexander appears to have his list narrowed to Oklahoma or Auburn while Howard is heavily favored to go to the Gators. If Auburn loses out on both of these they'll turn to Antoine Carter of Miami. A potential diamond in the rough. At LB Auburn hopes to sign Josh Bynes. Bynes is undecided between South Carolina, Louisville, Iowa and Auburn. Auburn also has a good shot at Adam Herring who has not been very highly touted. Finally there's Michael McNeil the safety from Mobile who has everyone's attention. McNeil is trying to decide between Auburn and FSU.

OTWS estimates the chance of each of the above prospects signing with Auburn as follows:
Frank Alexander - 30%
Jerry Howard - 5%
Antoine Carter - 80%
Josh Bynes - 75%
Adam Herring - 90%
Michael McNeil - 50%

If Auburn can pick up McNeil, Bynes and one of the DE prospects, look out!

Auburn Destroys UAT in Front of National Audience

2007-01-24T08:30:00.000-08:00

SOURCE: OA News
Frank Tolbert had waited long enough.

The junior is the only current Auburn basketball player to have played at AU each of the last three seasons. And like all his teammates, Tolbert was winless against archrival Alabama, thanks to the Crimson Tide’s seven-game win streak.

Tuesday, Tolbert took matters into his own hands. And it paid off.

Read the full story here

Enrique Davis a Tiger

2007-01-24T08:12:00.000-08:00

Enrique Davis informed Mickey Andrews last night that he was declining FSU's offer and sticking with his commitment to Auburn. He then informed Eddie Gran of his decision. Davis is one of the top running back prospects in the country. Since Coach Gran arrived at Auburn he has recruited, coached and help 4 players get to the NFL. That number will be 5 after this year's draft. Enrique was quoted by Rivals.com as saying, "We're going to win a national championship at Auburn and I'm going to flash my ring in everyone's face."

Jared Cooper Correction / Update

2007-01-24T07:59:00.000-08:00

According to our sources in Brewton, Jared's grandfather visited the Book and Bean coffee shop the other morning and stated that Jared decided on Auburn after his scholarship offer was upgraded from grayshirt to full. Also, in a previous report on Cooper we stated that he was a guard at W.S. Neal. He's actually a tackle, but Auburn is recruiting him as a guard.

Alexander Interview

2007-01-23T07:24:00.000-08:00

After learning of AU's latest in-home visit to Frank Alexander, OTWS decided to look Frank's number up. After calling 37 Alexanders in the Baton Rouge area we finally got the right house. Below is the transcript of our short interview with the highly touted defensive lineman:

Q: How was your senior season at Southern Lab?
A: Busy man, I mean with football and school and trying to figure out where to go to college, it’s been really busy.

Q: Are you leaning towards any particular college right now?
A: I pretty much got it narrowed down to 4. Tulane, Miami, Oklahoma, and Auburn.

Q: In that order?
A: No, they all about even right now. I’ll have a better idea after I take my last visit.

Q: I read that Auburn’s head coach visited you this weekend. How did that go?
A: Coach Tuberville is a really cool guy. He’s down to earth. It meant a lot that he came by to see me.

Q: Had you talked to him much before his visit?
A: Yeah, he’s been recruiting me the whole time. I’ve mainly talked to Coach Knox. He’s my main contact at Auburn.

Q: What was your high moment and low moment of the season?
A: High moment was definitely our win over Christian Life. They weren’t no good this year though. They’re like one of our big rivals here in town. Low moment would be losing to St. John in the semi-finals. I’m not sure we could’ve beat Evangel Christian, but I would’ve liked to play in the Super Dome.

Q: Where did ya’ll get the mascot of Kittens?
A: I don’t know man. We just the kittens though.

Q: Do you think you might grow into a Tiger one day?
A: Could be. I just need to decide.

Collette Connell, Alabama Fan

2007-01-23T06:29:00.000-08:00

We've all seen the video of Collette accosting Saban, but have you seen the music video to Gretchen Wilson's "All Jacked Up"? CLICK HERE TO ENJOY!!! By the way, be sure to notice how the state trooper rips her off of Saban. Also, check out the lady with the baby on her hip in the background when they're giving the Roll Tide. Also, listen in the background when they're interviewing Saban's wife. Also, look... never mind. There's too much to point out. Enjoy it for yourself.

A Lot of History Since UAT Last Beat Auburn

2007-01-18T13:49:00.000-08:00

After the September 11th attacks on our country most people were mourning the losses of their friends, family and countrymen. UAT, meanwhile, was sneaking in a rare win against Auburn.

Many years later UAT has yet to enjoy another win against its biggest rival and many things have happened since then. Here’s a look at what things were like the last time UAT won the Iron Bowl:

Steve Spurrier was the coach at Florida
Harry Potter movies didn’t exist
Saddam Hussein was still in power
Lance Armstrong had only won 3 Tour De Frances
Tom Cruise was still married to Nicole Kidman
Everyone still liked Tom Cruise
Bush was a newly elected president
I received a tax check from the Bush Administration
The IRA was still a threat
We had nine planets in our solar system
Hybrid cars weren’t invented
Enron was a good investment
Richard Scrushy was a good CEO
Arthur Andersen was an accounting firm
Starbucks was a new public company

Since that time, long ago, UAT has fired 3 coaches and now looks to it’s 4th for answers. Will Nicolae “Nick” Saban answer the call, and give UAT fans a long awaited victory over Auburn. Chances are “NO”, but only time will tell. Lots of time. The real question is will the Neck Nation give him the time?

Jared Cooper Having Second Thoughts?

2007-01-18T11:43:00.000-08:00

Nicolae Carpathia Saban made a visit to East Brewton a few days ago to visit Auburn commitment Jared Cooper. Jared is a life long Bammer fan who committed to Auburn after it became apparent that Shula and his staff were not going to make an offer. Now that Saban has arrived, UAT has an interest in the W.S. Neal guard. Brewton area Dixie League baseball coach, Hugo Williamson, stated, “I coached him 4 years ago when he was 14 and he was bigger than me. He’s a big kid, but I’m not sure he’s got what it takes to be an SEC lineman. He pushes around the little 200 lb guys, but I’m not sure how he’d do against the Groves of the world.”

Saban who has preached integrity, discipline and commitment since he arrived in Tuscaloosa is hoping to steal this kid who has already given his word to another school. Cooper has yet to decide if he will take a visit to Tuscaloosa.

Top 10 Most Memorable Moments of 2006 AU Football Season

2006-11-22T12:56:00.000-08:00

This football season, like most, has brought with it many memorable moments. Some moments are memorable because they are embarrassing, others because they are bizarre, and others because they bring honor, joy or satisfaction. I'm sure I've forgotten many memorable moments, but here are the top 10 that come to mind:

10. The last remaining horsemen finally gets a girlfriend Many of us believed he was gay, some believed he was a-sexual, but when the first game rolled around and he (I'm protecting his name if you can't tell) had a blonde on his arm, we were all proud. The impressive thing is she was still around at the end of the season. Great job ___.

9. Glen catches us eating Dreamland For those of you who aren't familiar with Auburn, Byron's is by far the best BBQ place in town. The owner, Glen, works most days and knows most of the everyday patrons. Little Red and I happen to be a couple of those regular patrons. On Saturday, past, Red and I were devouring Dreamland BBQ when along comes Glen. It was a very awkward moment as he spoke to us, and we tried to speak back with mouths full of BBQ. I'm not sure what his reaction will be when we go back to Byron's. I've been too embarrassed to go so far.

8. Florida Game So many moments come to mind when I think of the Florida game. Two post game moments really stick out in my mind, and they are how drunk B.C. got during the game, and the whole "death roll" conversation we had with K.T. Too long to discuss here.

7. Bobby Wilburn Need I say more? Only a few have been lucky enough to be invited to Wilburn's place on the Warrior River. I really can't disclose much more. Memorable.

6. Ole Miss Game There's really only 1 thing that makes the Ole Miss game memorable, and it was the 10 hour round trip drive I made by myself to keep my streak alive. This was the first time in 9 years that I couldn't find a partner to go to the game with me. I decided to take the trip on my own as a soul searching mission. What I found was very disturbing, and I hope I am never left alone with myself for that long again.

5. 100 Game Presentation Before my 100 consecutive game (Buffalo) I was presented with a certificate from Jay Jacobs, handwritten letter from Housel, and a cake. Very thoughtful of the tailgate crew.

4. Dentist Fight Auburn fans hate no other fans more than other Auburn fans as evidenced by the pregame festivities of the Buffalo game. A Dentist from north Alabama broke all rules and pulled his R.V. into our roped off tailgate spot. A melee almost followed, a couple of "sh$t-heads" were thrown back and forth, and both parties reluctantly agreed to coexist for one meaningless game.

3. Jacked up by Alonzo Horton Generally, I try to fire up the passerbys at Tiger Walk. I usually attack an unsuspecting male cheerleader or a 12 year old baseball team; however, this year I was the one being attacked. After a few innocent remarks Alonzo Horton decided to get fired up and bum rushed me. I had no time to plant my feet (not that it would have helped any) and he knocked me about 10 yards out of Tiger Walk. Needless to say, I think we made a connection.

2. LSU Tiger Walk "Remember that time on the way to Tiger Walk..." I do. Because we rode in a golf cart with 5 equestrian team members in our laps. Memorable. Memorable.

1. Dixieland Delight The most memorable thing I can think of this year is memorable because it was completely BIZARRE-O. To open the 4th quarter of the Irons Bowl, Bryant-Denny piped in Dixieland Delight. Weird because it doesn't seem like a football type song. Very odd choice of music. Weirder still because when the piped in music was forced to stop for football play the student section finished the song. "Whitetail buck deer munching on clover, redtailed hawk sitting on a limb, chubby old groundhog, croaking bullfrog....." you get the idea.

UAT Faces Tough Duke Team

2006-10-06T09:24:00.000-07:00

After losing 4 out of its last 5 SEC games, UAT is breathing a sigh of relief with Duke coming to town. Duke is by far the worst team in the country, ranked dead last in offensive production. They have been shut out 3 of the 4 times they've played this season, and are averaging 3.2 points a game. Like Bammer, the Blue Devils are not very good at rushing the ball. They average 1 yard per carry, and the team's top tailback has 69 yards rushing on the season. UAT is far from an elite team in the SEC, but OTWS is predicting that our bottom dwellers are better than the ACC's bottom dwellers. Prediction: Duke 28 UAT 31

A Dream Come True!

2006-09-26T11:44:00.000-07:00

I know what you're thinking, "What the HELL is going on here?!? What kind of redneck cheeseball gets married at Bryant-Denny (aka JH-West). Click here to read more.

Poorly Coached Team Gives Game Away

2006-09-24T07:48:00.000-07:00

In case you didn't notice, a meaningless, but necessary, matchup took place in Fayetteville on Saturday. It was the Arkansas Razorbacks vs. the Alabama-Tuscaloosa Crimson Tide. A game that would help decide how 4, 5 and 6 would shake out in the SEC West. Arkansas took a giant step towards not being a bottom dweller.

UAT put together a 14 play drive that took over 9 minutes off the clock in the fourth quarter then put the game on kicker Leighann Tiffin's shoulders. He missed it. He would miss four attempts in all. The most painful of which came in overtime as Tiffin missed an extra point which cost Bammer the game.

So who do you blame? Most people will look at Tiffin, but what about the always cocky Darby who once again failed to do much on the ground. What about Wilson? He had several costly mistakes. Including a pass while beyond the line of scrimmage and a second forward pass after receiving a deflected ball. Then there's Shula. She is, after all, the coach and leader of this gutless, untrained bunch. As the cameras panned the Bammer sideline it was apparent why this team has continued to struggle year after year. Recruiting! I saw soft, uncoached kids on that sideline. Something has to give if UAT wants to compete with the mid-level teams in the SEC West.

How the West was Won

2006-09-19T18:54:00.000-07:00

The Auburn Tigers won the West this weekend by defeating LSU 7-3 in the annual SEC Western Division Championship Game. LSU will take 2nd place while the Mississippi's, Arkansas' and UAT's of the world will fight for the bottom spots. Auburn kicker John Vaughn made history by kicking the football into the upright for the second consecutive time against LSU. The last time coming in overtime in Baton Rouge last year. Such a feat has never been achieved before and demonstrates exactly how superhuman John Vaughn is.

Auburn now awaits the winner of the Eastern Division.

Vandy is a Little Bit Worse than UAT

2006-09-10T20:32:00.000-07:00

Who needs moral victories when you can dominate your opponent 13 - 10 in front of your home crowd. For the second week in a row Bammer fans held their breath in the final seconds of the game as their beloved team held off yet another powerhouse. Juwan Simpson picked off a pass as time expired to extend UAT's SEC win streak to 1. It seems like only yesterday that Juwan was caught fondling the Bear's granddaughter while toting stolen property, drugs and firearms. On the other side of the ball Ken Darby rushed 21 times for 65 yards, and is getting close to breaking a 100 yards on the season. Louisiana-Monroe is up next, certainly Bammer can have a good showing against them.

AU Makes State Proud, UAT Survives Powerhouse Hawaii

2006-09-05T04:26:00.000-07:00

In its season opener, the Auburn Tigers lived up to its lofty ranking by smashing the Washington State Cougars. After the first series it looked like the Tigers were playing a weaker opponent such as UAT. Auburn registered 2 sacks on the first 3 plays and forced WSU to punt. Kenny Irons exploded for 42 yards on the first offensive play for Auburn. He also ran for 58 yards on the first play of the second half. Irons ran for 183 yards on 20 carries and had another 40 in receiving. Will Herring was Auburn's second leading rusher with 42 yards on one carry. His career rushing average now stands at 42 yards per carry.

Across the state, in drug infested Tuscaloosa, UAT had to give it all they had to hold off the Rainbow Warriors. Bammer showed that they had very little toughness and no guts when it came to defense and running the ball. UAT gave up over 350 yards passing during the game. On the other side of the ball the always cocky, Kenneth Darby only gained 25 yards on 16 carries behind blocking from Andre Smith. UAT looks to improve its stats next week against Vandy.

Video Pays Tribute to Ronnie Brown

2006-08-22T09:43:00.000-07:00

Click here to watch

UAT Lineman Speaks to OTWS

2006-08-18T12:29:00.000-07:00

UAT's Kyle Tatum is no stranger to college football, as you can tell by his physique. The 30+ game starter is ready to cap off a great career at Alabama-Tuscaloosa. Tatum, who was partially responsible for the worst offensive line in the history of college football last year is not willing to let that happen again.
"I've been working out a lot this summer.", said Tatum. "Rocky has been great. He's put me on a bench routine that's really improved the size of my chest. I feel better than ever." When asked about his gold chain, Tatum replied, "It's a Prattville thing, you wouldn't understand".

Which Picture Disturbs You Most?

2006-08-16T14:32:00.000-07:00

Contestant in annual AIDS Awareness Bike Ride

Interracial Gay Couple Enjoys Crabbing in Florida

Please vote on the Sidelines

Tray Blackmon: Fear the Thumb!

2006-03-06T11:09:00.000-08:00

True freshman, Tray Blackmon is making a name for himself on campus. After an impressive scrimmage on Saturday, he had this to say, "Fear the thumb Baby, fear the thumb!" Blackmon had 7 tackles on Saturday, 2 of them for losses. He also put big time hits on Kenny Irons and Prechae Rodriguez which both drew a large response from the crowd.

Meanwhile in Tuscaloosa, UAT continues to concentrate on basketball where they have proven themselves to be average.

Public Service Announcement

2006-02-27T08:28:00.000-08:00

Escambia County Sheriffs's Department Asks For Your Help in Locating Another Former UAT Felon. Another former University of Alabama football player is in trouble with the law. Following in the lines of Sherwin Williams, Bobby Humphrey, David Palmer, Ray Hudson, Kenny Stabler, John Parker Wilson, Marcus Carter, Santonio Beard, Taylor Britt, Chris Keys, Brian Burgdorf, and on and on and on, former UAT player Terence Braxton is accused of accepting money for good grades while he was teaching at Ernest Ward Middle School in Escambia County, Florida. Braxton, who claims to have learned of his scheme while playing at UAT, allowed students who didn't want to dress out for PE class to pay him a dollar. Authorities estimate he earned about $230,000. He was reportedly fired in January by the school for laziness and stupidity, traits shared by many UAT alumus. A warrant has been issued for Braxton's arrest. Authorities say he faces six counts of felony bribery charges. "He is a predator who took advantage of fat, out of shape kids, took their lunch money and used it, we suspect, to buy homosexual material which he shared with many of his former teammates." Unconfirmed reports show the list of former teammates possibly includes current Head Coach Mike Shula. If you know where he is, call the Escambia County, Florida sheriff's department.

Auburn Once Again Brings Pride to the State

2006-02-20T15:11:00.000-08:00

The Auburn Men's Swimming Team won its 10th straight SEC title. This also marks the 12th time in 13 years that the Tigers have won the title. This year's title came after Auburn won their most convincing meet yet, beating Florida by 161.5 points. Auburn Swim Coach David Marsh is now being compared to Joe Paterno or Bobby Bowden as Auburn's Swim Team makes its name as one of the most dominant programs in the history of all sports. In other Auburn news, Auburn freshman, Mike Bianucci was named the Southeastern Conference's player of the week after batting 4 of 5 on Friday with a double, 2 home runs and 6 RBIs. Auburn swept Hofstra thanks to Bianucci's bat.

Across the state, the UAT women's basketball team lost to Tennessee by a score of 82-65. This marks Tennessee's 30th consecutive victory over UAT. In case you thought you read that wrong, let me repeat, "This marks Tennessee's 30th consecutive victory over UAT". The number of loses is not the only problem noted in Tuscaloosa, it's also the lack of support. The basketball team's loss came in front of a crowd of only 5,380 people, most of which were Tennessee fans.

Two UAT Football Legends Star in Controversial Movie

2006-01-26T11:27:00.000-08:00

Immediately after ending his career covered in Pat Dye field, Brodie Croyle joined his football coach in an acting endeavor. "We thought we'd try our luck at acting since this whole football thing hasn't really panned out for us so far.", said Croyle. When asked what the biggest challenge of acting in this movie was, Shula said: "It have to be asking Brodie's daddy. I knew we were going to be riding alot of horses together and frolicking in fields and such. I was really scared that Brodie's daddy would be jealous, but he was ok with the whole thing."

Brodieback Mountain is being rolled out slowly, especially in the South where faggots aren't really liked.

BREAKING NEWS

2006-01-25T14:00:00.000-08:00

Auburn Defensive Coordinator, David Gibbs, is rumored to have taken a job with the Kansas City Chiefs. Gibbs was offered a job last week with the San Francisco 49ers, but declined the offer. During 2005, the Tigers ranked among the best in the country in scoring defense, but only managed to sack Brodie Croyle 11 times

Click Link to Right to Visit The Sidelines

2006-01-25T13:52:00.000-08:00

Auburn Prepares For Wisconsin

2005-12-27T18:32:00.000-08:00

Auburn arrived in Orlando on Monday and had its first gameday practice on Tuesday. Auburn's seniors, who have never lost to UAT, now have a chance to graduate with a perfect bowl record too. The other three bowl victories were Penn St. in the Capital One Bowl, Wisconsin in the Music City Bowl and Virginia Tech in the Sugar Bowl. This is the third time Tuberville has taken the Tigers to the Capital One Bowl.

Tim Tebow Screws Bama

2005-12-14T07:40:00.000-08:00

Tim Tebow made it official yesterday when he committed to Florida. “It was the right thing for me to do”, said Tebow at his press conference. “They run the style of offense that I am used to, it’s close to home, and my whole family went to Florida. I enjoyed my visits to USC and Tuscaloosa. I knew going in that Bama would promote me like no other school, and help me get where I wanted. I just hate that they actually thought I was coming there. They should of atleast had a backup plan in terms of a quarterback. Coach Shula did a great job recruiting me, but the begging yesterday morning was a touch over the top.”

The Neck Nation, who have been used numerous times by blue chip recruits in the past, was silent yesterday. It is expected that they will come out in the next day or two with something absurd like: “We didn’t want him anyway”. JPW is now clearly the man at UAT, and is expected to win 2, maybe 3 national championships while there.

Bammer Nation Saddened By Breaking News

2005-12-12T09:37:00.000-08:00

"I ain't gonna believe it", said Donny Bearden of Walker County today on news that the Bear is actually dead. Many people had reported that he was, in fact, dead, and Fox News finally broke the story earlier this morning on Fox & Friends. Reporter E.D. Hill remarked, "We learned that the Bear had actually been dead for years. In fact, it appears that he's turned over in his grave several times." School was cancelled today in Jasper, Gardendale, Capitol Heights, Bessemer and Hueytown on news of the death. "Ain't no wonder we ain't been winning no national championships", said Waffle House employee, "Jo". "We still the power of the South though. Just ask Auburn, we beat their ass for 3 quarters this year." No funeral services are expected since the Bear has, in fact, been dead for several years.

Auburn Announces Sleep Number Bed Product

2005-12-07T14:28:00.000-08:00

Select Comfort, the creator of the Sleep Number Bed announced on Tuesday that it plans to market a product through Auburn University featuring Pat Dye Field and the Sleep Number Bed. The bed will be made completely of turf extracted from Pat Dye Field and "sleeps like a dream", according to Brodie Croyle. "My sleep number is 11. It feels great. I've spent a lot of time laying on it and I have no complaints." Look for the product to hit stores just in time for the Christmas rush.

Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius

2005-12-02T07:11:00.000-08:00

Reeeeeeeel men of geeeeniooooouuussssss!

Today we salute YOU, Mr. Internet Bama Fan!

Mr. Internet Bama Faaaaan!

Only you realize the full weight of the NCAA's conspiracy against you.
When other teams meekly accept that they pay players, you blame Tennessee.
Even though you are dominated by your cross state rival you maintain,
in the face of all facts, that you are the premier program.
When your quarterback admits the truth you vilify him in public.

From crimson hero to crimson zeeerooo!

While other fans concern themselves with jobs and success in life,
you vent your frustrations into the nether world of cyberspace.

Venting into cyberspaaace!

Your unfailing eye for details picks up things that no one else sees, including the officials,
and the replay guy, and the people in the stands, and the four million watching at home.
Only YOU realize that Kenny Irons fumbled before he crossed the goalline.
Only your all seeing eye presents the foregone conclusion
that the coin toss was the moment that decided the game.

Coin toss wins it aaall!

Other teams assume that quality of play determines who wins the game.
Only you realize that moral victories and whether or not the opposing team's coach
celebrates with his fans is more important than the actual score.

I won in spite of the scooore!

So here's to you oh arbiter of college football.
Keep typing away in the sure knowledge of your irrelevance.
And know this, win or lose, in your mind you always win.

Knowledge of irrelevaaance!

Mr. Internet Bama Fan.

Auburn Celebration May Have Been Premature

2005-12-01T08:23:00.000-08:00

Auburn fans rolled Toomers Corner yesterday afternoon after reading in the Birmingham paper that Coach Mike Shula had received a raise and 5 year contract extension. However, the celebration may have been premature. Today UAT is reporting that contract talks have not taken place between Mike Shula and the school. Dr. Robert Witt, who is best known for his love of male band members, stated that Mike deserved a raise. UAT plans to finish the season in the Cotton Bowl. UAT has only been to two bowl games since 1997.

Answer to Yesterday's Trivia Question

2005-12-01T06:30:00.000-08:00

Answer: Taylor O'Doyle Britt
Congratulations to Scudder for correctly answering the trivia question.

Today's Sports Trivia Question

2005-11-30T09:33:00.000-08:00

Name this college football player.
Hint: many consider him the MVP of the 2005 Irons Bowl.

Today's Sports Trivia Question

2005-11-29T07:11:00.000-08:00

When was the last time the Auburn football team lost to UAT?

a.) 2005
b.) 2004
c.) 2003
d.) 2002
e.) None of the above

Answer: "e.) None of the above"

Bama Is Back Video Now Available

2005-11-28T13:58:00.000-08:00

CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO

UAT Fans Plan to Eat Plenty of Crow for Thanksgiving

2005-11-23T04:39:00.000-08:00

It started last January when the necks proclaimed the Tide would be undefeated in 2004 had Brodie stayed healthy. It continued into the Summer when Bill Oliver claimed the UAT defense was the fastest he'd ever seen. It got better when UAT beat a soft Florida team with no running game. Still better when SI proclaimed "UAT is Back". Even better when the Tide joined the likes of Vandy with a win over Tennessee. And then it was, "we won't be left out of the BCS if we go undefeated because we are Alabama (at Tuscaloosa)". And then it was: No. 3, and guess what... you will get left out of the BCS because you're not Texas or USC. And finally, it was 11 sacks, dominated by a greater defense, the best offense you've seen to date, and 4 in row by the cow college down the road. Thus, we at OTWS say, enjoy your crow this Thanksgiving, and we'll see you next year in JHW (Jordan Hare West).

Who Will Be the Next Great UAT QB?

2005-11-21T11:08:00.000-08:00

Now that the UAT/AU game is out of the way, let the media hype begin. His name is Tim Tebow, and if he doesn't come to UAT then it was only because they didn't want him. But if he does, look out! Not since Brian Burgdorf, Jay Barker, Freddie Kitchens, Andrew Zow, Tyler Watts, Brodie Croyle or J.P. Wilson has there been so much hype. As the books close on Brodie we must all take a moment to reflect on his contributions. They date back to his junior season of 8-man, private school football. Not since Tyler Watts had any UAT QB been hyped as much. Who else could sport the early 90's sunglasses on the back of the neck with croakies look and get away with it? Who else could even come close to making the mullet a modern fashion statement? Will Tebow live up to his hype as Brodie did? That, my friend, is the question.

Overated All Along

2005-11-20T19:07:00.000-08:00

By: Shellman Cuthbert Dawson, III

When Auburn's defense looked across the line of scrimmage on the first play of the game, it was obvious that they were looking at a herd of deer in the headlights. First of 11 sacks.

When Auburn's offense looked across the line of scrimmage three plays later, it was obvious that they were looking at a herd of deer in the headlights. Right down the field for a touchdown against the best defense to ever play the game as long as they were playing MTSU and Idaho Nursing College.

Thrashed on both sides of the ball by a vastly superior team. It took Brodie Croyle one play to figure out what to do when the turds were going to pass. Find a vacant spot and lie DOWN!!! Couldn't stand the heat. Kenneth Darby couldn't get it done, but Kenny Irons did - once again over 100 yards rushing.

If there has ever been a team that has been as overated as Alabumble for this long, I don't remember who it was.

Thrashed, trashed, beaten, humiliated. Never should have been built up so high to begin with, but thats the turds for you.

Former UAT HIV Infested Player Arrested

2005-11-16T19:25:00.000-08:00

Former University of Alabama – Tuscaloosa football player, Trevis Smith, was arrested 3 weeks ago for aggravated sexual assault. It was later learned that the 7 year CFL veteran has HIV. Team management, who knew of Trevis Smith’s condition for over a year, failed to inform any of Smith’s teammates which have some players upset. According to Canadian law, there is no requirement for employees to reveal their medical history. But many argue that football is not a typical occupation, since bleeding is a common occurrence on the field. Despite the apparent risks, a 1992 U.S. study of the National Football League determined there’s a one-in-85 million chance of HIV contraction through player to player on-field contact. Your chances go up considerably, however, when you share a whore amongst teammates.

Phony defenses unmasked

2005-11-14T08:35:00.000-08:00

Written by: SI

University of Alabama and University of Georgia fans had their eyes opened as to how bad their defenses really are when both played home games against teams who have very high quality offenses.

The Crimson Turd played inspired for the first 20 minutes, then saw a vastly superior LSU team take charge and control the game in convincing fashion for the rest of the game. The score was not indicative of how LSU dominated the Turds during the last 40 minutes. No Tennessee luck-out this time.

The Bullfrog faithful had a very similar experience as Auburn, with the SEC's best offense, forced the bullfrogs into utilizing a trick offense based on throwing to the tight end and a no huddle game plan. Tricks usually work for a while, but not for the whole game. The Georgia coaching staff obviously knew that they were outmatched and with a week off, tried to change their offense to counter Auburn's superior defense. That failed and the Auburn offense had little trouble racking up 500 yards against Georgia's defensive imposter. No South Carolina luck-out this time.

Fans of both losers to Auburn and LSU once again this year are confused and groggy from the media leading both schools to think that they are of championship quality.

Next year the coaching staffs of both loser schools should remind their faithful early in the year to remember that Auburn and LSU await one or the other, so not to expect championship seasons. Alas, losers seldom like to subject themselves to reality.

Cooter Nervously Eats Bugers As Gators Take The Lead

2005-09-22T06:55:00.000-07:00

3rd string QB, Jim Bob Cooter nervously eats a buger as Florida goes on top 7-0 in Saturday's game. The Gators went on to win the game 16-7 before a record crowd of 90,716 fans in the swamp. Florida led the Vols in passing (247-213) and rushing (68-66). Florida's next game is Saturday vs Kentucky.

Poor Pass + Off. Pass Interference = GREAT CATCH

2005-09-12T07:17:00.000-07:00

Prothro made a spectacular catch after a little offensive pass interference and a poor Krull pass as UAT squeaked past USM on Saturday night. UAT only managed 10 yards rushing in the first half which forced Krull to go to the air. "His performance was not stellar", said Coach Sheila. "He has terrible footwork and no touch, but we got the job done. USM ought to be a top 10 team. They looked really good."

UAT will travel to South Carolina next Saturday. The game will be televised on CBS at 2:30.

UAT QB Hopes So Miss Doesn't Break His Leg

2005-09-08T20:53:00.000-07:00

Bruddy Krull and UAT are looking for another victory this Saturday as they host a football team that was ravaged by Hurricane Katrina. "We've got to win 'em while we can", said Krull. "Our fans are getting pumped after the MTSU win. We feel like we could win another national championship if I don't break my leg running off the field this weekend." UAT, who is almost always the best team in the country until SEC play gets into full swing, will host the Golden Eagles on ESPN2 Saturday night.

Officials Rob Auburn of Victory

2005-09-04T20:09:00.000-07:00

After virtually dominating Georgia Tech, Auburn fell victim to the ACC officials. Brandon Cox had an almost perfect game. He threw for 342 yards and 2 touchdowns. His only mistakes came in the second half when he threw 4 interceptions and fumbled the ball late in the game. But we shouldn't be too quick to blame the game on him. The blame lies squarely on the shoulders of the officials, who had numerous bad calls throughout the night including 2 pass interference calls on Auburn. Cox threw 44 times during the game, 22 of which he completed. His performance would lead one to believe that he'll complete about 50% of his passes and only throw an interception about once out of every 10 attempts. Not bad when you factor in that 5 of those 10 will be complete and the other 4 will land safely on the field. Auburn looks to get it back on track next week versus Mississippi State, and believes they can do it if the officials call a fair game.

Saturday Auburn Scrimmage Notes

2005-08-13T19:14:00.000-07:00

Auburn had a physical practice today at the intramural fields, but not physical enough according to Coaches Dunn & Price (we'll get to that in a minute). Brandon Cox looked very good today. Cox was 13 of 19 with 188 yards, 3 TDs and 1 interception. The interception came after a pass bounced out of Prechae Rodriguez's hands in the endzone and into Will Herring's. Tre Smith sat out again, as did Brad Lester. Devin Aromashodu had another great scrimmage as did Cooper Wallace. Anthony Mix ran brilliantly after the catch, but gave everyone a scare when he and David Irons had a vicious collision. Both were transported to the hospital. Irons has bruised ribs and should return in a few days. It was feared that Mix may have injured his spleen, but he received a good report from the doctors and is expected back in a few days. John Vaughn kicked a 51 yard field goal just 2 days after nailing a 45 yarder on a 10 second drill that kept the team from running sprints. Merrill Johnson went down early with a dislocated elbow. This allowed Tray Blackmon more playing time. Blackmon finished the day as the leading tackler, with 5.

After the scrimmage Dunn and Price held the defensive line for conditioning drills. This included what seemed like endless sprints in full pads. The first casualty was, freshman, Rudy Odom. Odom appeared to be having a heat stroke, but that didn't stop Dunn from lighting his tail up. Dunn made Odom, who was slouched over a cooler and being attended to by managers, stand during the drills. Odom promptly fell back to the cooler as soon as Dunn turned his back. After six sprints, Josh Thompson was heard muttering, "WHAT THE F&C#!". Dickens went down after the seventh. Josh, T.J. and Pat Sims walked the eighth. I believe Pat was saving up for the final sprint. Derozan was so tired and hot he almost passed out. He stumbled into Josh Thompson at one point. The 30 minutes of drills was very intense and was the highlight of the entire practice. Dunn was interviewed by AU Tigers immediately after the sprints and, in the heat of the moment, probably ran his mouth a little more than he should have.

Auburn Scrimmage Notes

2005-08-10T11:13:00.000-07:00

Auburn held a 80+ play scrimmage this morning at the intramural fields. Brandon Cox caught Will Herring asleep on the first play from scrimmage and hit Kenny Irons for 79 yards to the 1. The offense lined up on their own 20 and handed it off to Carl Stewart who went 40 yards before fumbling the ball (the offense recovered). Two plays later Brandon Cox went deep to Devin Aromashodu, but was picked off by Wilhite. The offense failed to score until an hour later when Cox hit Mix for 15 yards, once again Will Herring was out of position. Blake Field ran the second team today, and looked average. He had one interception late in the scrimmage. Calvin Booker dropped 3 snaps and had one snapped over his head. Cox dropped one, but recovered it. Brad Lester got most of the carries today at running back. Overrall the defense looked pretty good. The offense ran mostly short routes until the end of scrimmage when they opened it up on the third team defense. Only one player went down with injury. Joe Cope hit the ground screaming in agony early in the scrimmage. Everyone stopped what they were doing and took a knee. His screams indicated that he was seriously injured, but 5 minutes later he stood and walked off the field. No one could tell what really happened to him, but it was apparent that he doesn't like pain.

2005-04-26T06:56:00.000-07:00

Wesley Britt happy after being selected by San Diego with the 164th pick.

Glory Days at Auburn Continue

2005-03-27T08:49:00.000-08:00

Every time you turn around Auburn is winning a national championship or doing something else great. This time it's the men's swimming and diving team who won their third consecutive national title on Saturday as they defeated runner-up Stanford by 77 points. The men's team has won five national titles since 1997. Senior Matt Bricker, who was in the hospital a month ago, won the platform title for the first time in his career. Arizona placed third in the event, while California took fourth and Florida finished fifth. UAT managed to win 1 event, the 200 breaststroke, with foreigner - Vlad Polyakov, but as usual failed to do anything else of significance.

Former UAT QB Gets Life in Prison

2005-03-26T13:27:00.000-08:00

Michael Landrum, the first black quarterback to ever play at UAT, was sentenced to life in prison with no possibility of parole on Wednesday after being convicted of a double murder. Landrum, of Sweetwater, hired a man for $1,000 to kill his 3 year old daughter and her grandmother in August of 2003. The 3 year old's mother was in Iraq serving in the National Guard at the time.

Landrum serves another blow to the already tarnished image of UAT football which dates back to the drunken lusts of Coach Bryant and highschool children wanting to play in Tuscaloosa. Since those dark days, UAT has gone through 7 different football coaches, and has shown no real success that wasn't marked by corruption and cheating as evidenced by the continuous NCAA probation.

Auburn A-Day Proves Defensive in Nature

2005-03-20T10:37:00.000-08:00

Fans expecting to see loads of big plays and high scoring likely left Jordan-Hare Stadium scratching their heads following Saturday’s A-Day spring scrimmage. The 1st and 2nd team defenses dominated both offenses allowing only 3 field goals, and that was without all three starting linebackers and the first and second team defensive tackles, Jackson and Thompson. The offensive player of the game was Brandon Cox. Cox was 13 of 22 for 225 yards, 44 of those yards came on a streak pattern to Maurice Anderson to end the second quarter. Anderson was knocked out of bounds at the 1 as time expired. Cox, however, was harassed by Stanley McClover all day. McClover had 4 sacks, and was in Brandon's face on almost every play. At times it looked like the offensive tackles had given up on trying to block him. Calvin Booker looked sharp at times as he threw for 84 yards (4 of 12) and Blake Field was perfect on the day passing 2 for 2 for 8 yards.

On the ground, Kenny Irons had 83 hards on 18 carries (4.6 avg), Stewart had 42 yards on 13 carries (3.2 avg), and Smith rushed 8 times for 37 yards (4.6 avg). Tre Smith once again fumbled the ball off a big play that the defense recovered.

Across the state in Tuscaloosa, Coach Shula had planned to start Bruddy Krull, but Papa Krull was there to see that it didn't happen as Krull is still nursing an injured knee he got walking off the field last season. JP Wilson was the most valuable offensive player of the day. Wilson was 14 of 31 for 168 yards, 1 TD and 2 interceptions. Guillon was 13 of 26 for 157 yards, 1 TD and 1 interception. Which left many people wondering what differentiated the 2 quarterbacks. Shula commented, "I just like Parker better. Guillon is a little punk. He's always complaining that he's better than the other quarterbacks, and when we gave him a shot last year he really screwed it up."

UAT's offense put up big points (the final was 20-18) which proves that Shula plans to open up the offense this year. "We should win the national championship this year as long as Bruddy doesn't bust his ass coming off the field again. I think we have to look to the national championship every year. That, and talk alot about tradishun", said Shula.

UAT, Once Again, Embarrasses State

2005-03-17T19:23:00.000-08:00

The residents of the Great State of Alabama have, once again, been embarrassed by UAT's attempt to compete in sports. Head Baseball Coach, Jim Wells remarked, "I'm glad I'm not in this thing alone". Recently, the baseball team was dominated by Miami of Ohio. They have also lost 2 games to Hawaii and are winless against UAB on the season. We attempted to reach Coach Shula, who has done her share to embarrass the state in football, but she was unavailable for comment.

UAT was completely dominated today by the Wisconsin-Milwaukee Panthers. A lot of people didn't realize there was such a school. "It's like getting beat by Troy State at Montgomery," said Larry Williams, a lifetime UAT fan who joined some friends to watch the game at Wings in Montgomery. For 40 minutes the Horizon League champions dominated play. "We expected this," forward Joah Tucker said. "It wasn't a big surprise for us."

The loss leaves one to wonder, when will it ever end. Will UAT ever return to the glory days in any sport. Even this website has suffered over the past 4 or 5 years with UAT. "They just don't have the swagger they used to have," said long-time Sidelines reader Phil Cupper. "I almost wish they could win a softball game or something so they'd come back."

UAT Not as Good as 2nd Best Team in SEC-East

2005-03-13T08:03:00.000-08:00

UAT choked on Saturday to the second best team in the East proving, once again, that they are no where near the top of the pack.

Despite the recent fan following and smack talking, UAT proved that they weren't that good of a basketball team on Saturday falling to Florida 68-62. LSU, who proved they were the best team in the West, fell in overtime by 1 to Kentucky. Basketball recently took over as UAT's second most popular sport, behind gymnastics, because the football team was placed on probabation for the second time in 6 years following decades of corruption.

In other news, Auburn lost a close game Friday night to LSU due to poor officiating.

QBs Give Poor Performance in Scrimmage

2005-03-12T12:47:00.000-08:00

TJ is carted off after injuring his knee.

It's hard to name the best quarterback on the field with this bunch. Brandon Cox who ran the first team looked below average, throwing at least 2 interceptions. Blake Field also threw an interception to Steve Gandy who returned it for a touchdown. Field threw his body at Gandy before he pounded into the endzone. Booker didn't throw an interception that I saw, and he appeared to run the offense a little better, but still wasn't better than average. Brandon Cox continues to make stupid mistakes throwing the ball. He reminded me a lot of Daniel Cobb today.

Tommy Jackson hurt his left knee on one of the first plays from scrimmage. He walked to the sidelines with help before being carted off the field. Josh Thompson also hurt his knee a couple of series later, but it didn't appear to be very serious. This gave Nathan Farrow a chance to play, and he looked good. People may want to keep an eye on this walk-on.

Marquies Gunn picked the wrong day to rest his hands on his hips as Coach Terry Price lit a fire under his ass. The whole field got quiet during the butt-chewing.

Jason Campbell was also at practice. When I asked him about Tuberville's comments this week on ESPN, he agreed that the three Auburn had in the backfield last year made the best backfield in college football in the last 50 years.

Tiger Football Notes

2005-03-09T18:26:00.000-08:00

The Tigers practiced in shorts and helmets today due to numerous injuries and the flu. James Swinton and Lee Guess missed practice due to the flu. Brandon Cox also reported not feeling well, but still practiced. Some of the young guys are getting playing time at linebacker due to injuries with Travis Williams, Antarrious Williams and Kevin Sears. Antarrious is still hobbled with his December wrist injury, but has been practicing lightly with a cast. Travis Williams has a high ankle sprain and Kevin Sears broke his thumb in Saturday's scrimmage. Kevis Burnam had a good day at middle linebacker and Karibi played weakside.

On the offensive line, Leon Hart was moved to guard after a miserable day snapping the ball on Saturday. He will practice the rest of the Spring behind Ben Grubbs and get some work behind Marcus McNeil at tackle.

Other news, Jarrod Britt missed his fourth practice due to a shoulder injury and Tony Bell and Anthony Mix haven't practiced this Spring due to academic issues.

Montgomery Black Caucus Demands Black Kicker

2005-03-08T17:04:00.000-08:00

After crossing Edmund Pettus Bridge in Selma on Sunday, the Montgomery Black Caucus met to brainstorm new ways to screw Auburn University. After a very productive meeting it was decided that the Black Caucus will ask all African-American seniors to sit out this season and bypass any chance at the NFL unless Auburn immediately replaces Junior, white kicker, John Vaughn with a black kicker. Auburn officials were outraged when they heard the demand. "I don't ever remember seeing an African-American kicker on the recruiting trail", said Recruiting Coordinator, Greg Knox. Senior, fullback, Jake Slaughter planned to sit out his senior year, but was reminded that he wasn't black and it wouldn't count.

The Caucus plans to continue the fight until all southern schools are scared to hire any black employees.

Auburn Gymnastics Picks Up 3 Wins

2005-03-06T14:48:00.000-08:00

Julie Dwyer on the balance beam

This one's for all you UAT fans because we, at OTWS, know you like your gymnastics.

The No. 20 Auburn gymnastics team added three wins to their overall record today beating West Virginia, Kent State and No. 23 Michigan State. Dwyer shined in the all-around, socring a 39.175 to place in a tie for second in a field of eight. Also competing in the all-around for AU was Courney Pucket, Aimee Goheen and Kayce Stein. Puckett finished in fifth with a 38.950, a season-high, and Goheen scored a career-best 38.900 to come in sixth. Stein earned a 38.750 to place eighth.

Source: auburntigers.com

Auburn Baseball Notes

2005-03-06T14:34:00.000-08:00

A Clemson grandslam off the top of the scoreboard in the 7th put this game away as Clemson downed Auburn 14-3. Auburn took 2 out of 3 in the series and will host VMI next weekend before traveling to Troy on Tuesday. SEC play begins the following weekend (March 18th). The Tigers will open conference play at home against Tennessee. For those of you coming up to A-Day on the 19th, the UT/AU baseball game will be played at 4:00.

OTWS Predicts Auburn to Win SEC Tournament

2005-03-05T18:42:00.000-08:00

Auburn smashed Arkansas today at Beard-Eaves-Memorial Coliseum. Quinnel Brown was 8 for 8 shooting with 21 points. In fact, the only thing he missed today was a free throw. The win broke Auburn's 5 game losing streak and brings their SEC record to 4-12. Auburn will face Vandy in the late game on Thursday. Auburn faced Vandy once this year and lost a close 24 point battle at home. Vandy won't be so lucky on Thursday as this game will be played in Atlanta. If all goes well, Auburn will face LSU on Friday and then most likely Kentucky on Saturday. The championship game is slotted for 12:00pm on Sunday.

Turnip Proclaims Blake Field Best QB

2005-03-05T12:57:00.000-08:00

Blake Field was 3 for 10 today with no interceptions and a 5 yard touchdown pass to Charles Mullen. With that performance Turnip named him the best quarterback on the field today. Meanwhile, Brandon Cox was 8-22 for 97 yards and 2 touchdowns. The biggest disappointment of the day was the play of the centers, and overall pass protection. The defense basically destroyed the offensive line gaining 10 sacks. On the ground, Tre Smith was disappointing, Stewart ran for 98 on 11 carries and looked tough to pull down, and Irons had a big 61 yard run that he failed to score on because he tripped.

Defensive Coordinator, David Gibbs remarked that the Tigers have a lot of work to do. "We have to clean it up," he noted. "Everybody made mistakes out there, but there is no reason to panic. We have plenty of time to get it corrected."

Auburn scrimmages again next Saturday at 10am.

Lebo Looks for First Win Against Arkansas

2005-03-05T08:36:00.000-08:00

Jeff Lebo is 0-1 against the Razorbacks who come to town today to face the Auburn Tigers at 1:00pm. It's Senior Day on the Plains and the basketball team will honor: Quinnel Brown, Troy Gaines, Nathan Watson and Ian Young before the game. The Tigers are 3-12 in conference play and can be seen on Jefferson Pilot.

Auburn Beats Clemson in 9th

2005-03-05T08:08:00.000-08:00

The Tigers rallied in the 9th to beat Clemson last night at Plainsmen Park. Going into the bottom half of the 9th the score was 5-3, three singles later the lead was cut to 5-4. A third balk of the game by Clemson and a walk loaded the bases. Four pitches later the game was tied as relief pitcher, Stephen Clyne walked Russell Dixon. Philip Stringer batted in the winning run with 2 strikes and 2 outs in the inning, and Auburn won an exciting game to open the 3 game series with #24 Clemson. The battle of the Tigers begins again at 4pm on Saturday.